You are three

I sit here thinking of our first days together. David sleeping on a too small pullout chair-bed. You in a plastic bassinet next to me. I remember my arms being so sore I could hardly hold you. I remember the nurse who had the patience to talk to me about your birth. I remember wanting chocolate milk and graham crackers.  I remember the steak and shrimp dinner the hospital gave David and I. Each tray with a little bottle of sparkling cider to celebrate. I remember waking up the next morning and hearing the air whooshing through the vents, but I thought it was the sound of rain, which is a very comforting sound to me.  I had never felt so empowered, so womanly, so tired. You had lots of dark hair, which turned blond by your first birthday, now it is a soft light brown. I was determined to nurse you, even though I had to use a nipple shield, the whole 16 months. I wanted to give you the best of every thing. I think I have done well.

You are three now. Sleeping in your toddler bed, with a blanket that was your daddy’s as a boy. Clutching White Bear that is no longer white. The other night you cried out in the night, you could not find your bear. I went in to retrieve him for you. You, half asleep said “bear doesn’t have legs… silly bear.”

You love playing games and I think you will really enjoy your birthday gifts, Chutes and Ladders and Hungry Hungry Hippos. We will open them at your party next week. Each night we say three things that “were so much fun”. You often include your friend Lexi and going to your grandparents house.

You are happy and healthy and bring joy to my life.

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4 thoughts on “You are three

  1. Holly this is so dear. I am so happy that you have your baby girl and now your boy. You are a great mother. and I know that Arora will know that when she grows up. I love you and I hope that this new year brings your Family Peace and Happiness as you start over in Kansas

  2. Happy birthday to the New Year’s girl! Hey should could make resolutions on her birthday!

    Amazing how much she’s grown. This was sweet. I image she will love reading this when she gets older.

  3. You are an awesome mama, Holly. I love that you breastfed her for so long despite the obstacles. Kudos to you.

    Also – three is so fun. You have much to look forward to.

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